This year’s Not-E3 marks the first time in over a decade that I’m not covering the conference in some capacity, professional or otherwise. On the one hand, I am extremely relieved (covering E3 was hard enough when it was largely one event, but became a nightmare once the pandemic caused the splintered, multi-showcase mess we have today) but I’d be lying if I said I’m not going to miss it.
E3 was exciting enough as a fan, but there was something about the stress of covering it for the web that lent it an additional pleasure. The race to be first; to have the most information, the screenshots, the videos, the take. I began my “career” writing about E3. My original site, Gamer Nation, was created a day before 2011’s show kicked off, and I spent many happy hours scrambling to write news posts deep into those warm summer nights.
Of course, E3 is sadly no more. After my previous employer attempted to revive it, the show died a long-expected death, leaving behind a vacuum that Geoff has desperately been attempting to fill since it was initially placed on life support. I pine for an E3 that existed a decade ago, one full of excitement and joy. Or maybe I care less about the event itself and more about the industry as it was back then, for which E3 merely served as a physical manifestation. I’m also a little salty because I joined the industry just as it died, scuppering my chances of boozing with journos in downtown LA. Ah, well, nevertheless!
This year, Yolli and I are travelling to Bristol to celebrate her birthday. As such, I will be consuming this year’s proceedings passively between long walks and nice dinners. Still, it felt wrong not to engage with the event in some form or another, so before I inevitably offer my take on the announcements (or lack thereof) in a subsequent blog post next week, here are some quick predictions to tide us all over until then:
One. Summer Game(s) Fest will be largely disappointing. Keighley himself has already tempered expectations in the run-up to the show (something I’m sure those who have paid lots of money to show trailers at the event were thrilled to hear) which I find mildly interesting. Last year’s event could be described as mid at best, and Keighley didn’t feel the need to apologise for that beforehand. How bad is it going to be this year? Expect, perhaps, one or two notable announcements surrounded by an ocean of weird brand sponsorships and nothing-burger reveals for live service titles. You know, the usual Summer Game(s) Fest stuff.
I suppose there’s a chance that when calling for calm Geoff is like, doing a bit, and actually has a bunch of surprises prepared. I’d love to be proven wrong! But I genuinely believe the man is only capable of humour when it happens to him by accident.
Two. Speaking of Geoff, I think he will mention the mass layoffs that have plagued the industry over the past 12 months, but it will be as brief and as toothless as you’d expect from a man who has built his entire career on being in bed with the exact same people who sign off the redundancies in the first place.
Three. While we’re on the subject of mass redundancies, Phil Spencer will acknowledge the “challenges” Xbox has faced over the last few months and the “difficult decisions” they have been forced to make as a result. He’ll do this after the initial trailer that will kick off the Xbox showcase, but before he announces Gears of War 6 (or something equally as bombastic) to distract you from – again – toothless non-statements.
Four. They better announce a new DOOM at that conference I swear to god (it’s me, hi, I’m the problem it’s me).
Five. I like to think outside of a few predictable announcements (DOOM, Gears 6, an extended look at both Avowed and Indiana Jones) Microsoft will have at least one or two surprises up their sleeves. Something new from Double Fine, perhaps. A new Spyro The Dragon game by Toys For Bob. Maybe the troubled Perfect Dark will break cover? It’s wild that Xbox owns so many studios now, but we know so little about what they’re actually working on. Mass consolidation: very cool!
Six. Starfield on PlayStation? Starfield on PlayStation. There’s no way this won’t happen.
Seven. CAPCOM can you please reveal Resident Evil 9 at Summer Game(s) Fest please, I’ve been ever so good. Failing that, I will take anything Resident Evil related that isn’t a bad multiplayer shooter. Cheers.
Eight. I assume Valve will formally reveal Deadlock – their new multiplayer shooter – at a show this week, although I’m not sure which one. My money would be on the PC Gaming Show but it could just as easily be Geoff’s thing (or even the Xbox showcase, why not). Either way, my expectations for Deadlock are tempered somewhat considering their attitude towards their other big multiplayer shooter.
Nine. I’ve grown a bit tired of Devolver’s whole anti-conference schtick but I am very excited to play a bunch of their games this year, so fingers crossed we get some firm release dates for the likes of Anger Foot, Skate Story and The Plucky Squire.
Ten. This feels very unlikely but maybe we’ll see the much-rumoured PlayStation 5 Pro? I have absolutely no interest in buying one, but it would be fun to watch Sony attempt to sell us a beefier version of a console that has only just started receiving actual exclusives (instead of cross-gen releases) over the last 12 months.
Eleven. I imagine Nintendo will drop a Direct announcement next week, although Nintendo very much marches to the beat of its drum these days so, who knows. All we know for certain is that the Switch 2 will not be discussed at any point over the summer. Still, despite winding this particular “generation” down (as much as Nintendo abides by generations, anyway) the company has still been releasing a bunch of weird stuff that has been delightful for Nintendo sickos like myself. I couldn’t even begin to predict what they might announce during a summer showcase, but I’m excited to find out.
Twelve. I was going to say something about finally seeing the next Bioshock title (announced five years ago, which makes me feel a bit unwell) but a rumour I have spotted literally as I was writing this paragraph suggests that Borderlands 4 is 2K’s big reveal instead which is. Fine? That’s fine.
Alright, enough of that. You can find a list of all of the conferences – including where to watch them – via the Summer Game(s) Fest website. I’ll be back next week, no doubt to whinge at length about how I didn’t feel as excited as I did on a warm summer evening 13 years ago. I was 19! I was infinite! I had no responsibilities! It’s definitely the industry that is the problem, not time’s arrow marching ever forward. Cya!
Any spelling mistakes, grammatical errors or badly phrased sentences in this post are all intentional. Cheers.